On another note...
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
New Shoes & Some Chatter
Do you like my new shoes? (Yes, more new shoes!) I snapped them up in the ASOS sale last week after lusting after them for agees! The straps are a PITA to do up & undo though, but they are so cute! I am a firm believer that nothing can have too many bows, although I should imagine some of you disagree :P
On another note...
A reader asked me today to make a post about how I live with/accept my body just the way it is. I think this is quite an interesting topic of discussion, & not something I have really gone into on this blog, preferring to keep it a lighter mix of shopping wish lists, reviews & outfit posts (I know you all think I'm shallow, haha!). To be honest, I don't really like to be too personal here, I know everybody thinks I am confident, etc just because I wear the colourful clothes I do, but in reality I am very different. Those you you who have met me at blogger events probably already know this, but I actually am extremely shy, & not very confident at all. I'm not even sure that confidence & being able to dress eccentrically even have anything to do with each other, for me at least.
Despite this, accepting my body came fairly easily for me, even though it wasn't something I had ever thought about before. I was just another girl who had been trained that fat=bad, skinny=good. Once I discovered the online community of fat acceptance, I began to realise how hating myself for being fat didn't help me to become more accepted in mainstream society & media, it just made me hate me, which obviously didn't make me any happier. So I decided to just accept myself the way I was, & start being visible & dressing the way I wanted to dress.
Just because I accept myself doesn't mean I am happy with everything about me, far from it. In fact, I probably make no sense at all to anyone, because I still have issues with a lot of things about myself, but I can still post outfit posts & not care about what people say anymore in regards to my weight. In fact, a lot of the links to this blog are through sites that do nothing but comment on my weight & criticise me for it but I tend to just ignore them now. I don't really know how to explain it.
Sometimes I feel dishonest when I blog, because although I no longer mind if people know I am fat, I do mind other things, & photoshop them out, or don't discuss them. Natalie discussed similar things in her post here, & I feel the same way, torn! I look up to Natalie, because she has been so honest about her life & experiences on her blog, & I wish I could do the same. I guess being fat used to be one of the things I hated about myself, & I've managed to overcome that, so maybe one day I will be able to overcome the other issues I have with myself. Accepting my weight just put me on a path 1 step closer to accepting all of me. I'm not there yet.
I know this didn't really answer the original question very well, but I think it shows true self acceptance is difficult to obtain & will probably always be a work in progress, for me at least.